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RELATED THEMES gender identity social change OTHER THEMES IN SW COLLECTION THEMES IN NE COLLECTION BACKGROUND |
social relationships in the southwest collectionA significant number of these narrators talk about social relationships, particularly between generations, and with other ethnic or social groups. Many reveal a continuing sense that their ethnic identity places them at a disadvantage. Isolation and a related lack of access to educational and economic opportunities compounds their low status - several women mention the disdain of "lowlanders" for "mountain" people. When people refer to lowlanders or people in "the plains" they seem generally to mean the majority Han population. One Lahu woman (China 16) says: "People who live on the plains wear better clothing; they have more access to outside information and have a better life. People who live in mountain areas, because they don't have access to information, they cannot see what others do well - they appear to be more foolish..." Another woman echoes this feeling in her response to a question about differences between the Yi and the Han, initially saying that there is no difference between them: "Yi nationality [and the Han]? All are the same. My family accepts marriage with your [Han] family. My younger brother's wife is a Han… And our uncle, and our children's uncle. The aunt is a Han…" Then she adds: "What's the advantage? The children are cleverer." (China 25). However, several narrators stress the sense of pride and unity which a common identity brings with it, even if outsiders look down on it. One narrator (China 12) says that "people from outside" had little respect for the Miao and would "bully" and steal from them. But within their own villages, "Because of our custom, we didn't [need to] lock the door whenever we went out. You trusted me and I trusted you. I wouldn't steal anything from you; you wouldn't steal anything from me… Miao people have one good quality, that's unity." Unity can break down, however, under certain strong social pressures. Several women refer to hurtful gossiping, mainly about women who don't conform in some way. And the stigma of being childless has caused real misery for one narrator (China 11): "People in this village look down on me, and my family looks down too. We two often quarrel because of this… I think it's better to have a child, so that the people in the village won't bully us…" On the positive side, many women stress that each new generation still takes responsibility for aging parents, even if fewer families continue to live in extended households: "It's rare that young people lack a conscience, very rare…" (China 12). One woman (China 2) gets quite emotional as she describes how she tells her husband off for treating his elderly mother without proper respect. But taken overall, while there are women who talk of supportive relationships with husbands and in-laws, the interviews contain many more references to unhappy marriages, and to wife-beating. These suggest that the grinding poverty in which many of these families live puts huge pressure on their relationships. The childless woman (China 11) says that she is not alone in experiencing domestic violence: "I don't know what's wrong these days. We old women chatted and found that everyone has been beaten… I was not the only one. There are many men - Miao, Han, Yi - all beat [their wives] when they get drunk." quotes about social relationships"Sometimes [my husband] shouted at my grandma (mother-in-law), [who has] difficulty hearing. I said to my husband, 'She is an old person, [she] is not a little child. You should speak to her slowly... But you yourself spoke so loudly and frightened her…' I said to him, '…If you beat [your old parents], your child will beat you in the same way in the future.'" "People on the plain look down on people in the mountains. They tend to hurt mountain people, especially Miao… If you come to steal produce in my fields, you will be caught by us Miao people… but we can't overpower them. So they tend to bully us." "…Miao old people, don't like to live with their children. Unless they get very old, or one of the elderly couple has died, [only then] will they come to live with their children… in our village, there wasn't a single case where the children didn't support their parents. If the parents are alive, the fields are all farmed by the sons. When harvested, they'll carry the grain to the parents' place, they won't carry it back home." "[Miao girls] were bullied during their study, so they came back [from secondary school]. At the beginning, they were very enthusiastic in their studies. But when they studied to grade 2 and grade 3, they couldn't continue. Mostly because of others' bullying, those people criticised Miao people and said many unpleasant words… Miao people, especially the girls…cannot bear being insulted." "We ask anyone [in the village] for help. You help me and I help you, just like this. People will help if she or he is free. If they are not free, I'll do [my farming] by myself. The same goes for myself. When I'm free I'll go to help [others] even if they don't ask." "Places near the roadside or the plain were more likely to be disturbed by people… at my parents' house, the fruits were ripe and fell all over on the ground. But they lived far from the plain, so people seldom went to plunder their place. We here are close to the plain; people come to cut the firewood [and fodder] all the time… They drove a tractor to carry the fodder back… whenever they saw that there was no one around, they would pick the melons and steal people's vegetables." |
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